Died ..

... Or so it seems. What can I say? Been a murderous March & April. I really need to catch up.

But until then ..








Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Day In The Life

I've never done one of these, so I'm going to give it a shot. I saw this on The Adventures of the Headless Family.

3:00 Woke up starving, tried to ignore and go back to sleep
3:35 Gave up ~ went to kitchen had a bowl cereal.
4:00 Tried to go back to sleep. Watched Good Wife & Doogie Howser.
4:45 Said Screw it, got up got dressed
5:02 Started writing this post
5:10 Put clean dishes away in dishwasher/reload dishwasher
5:30 check emails
5:35 CDD gets home
5:36 Talk to him for a bit while I pick stuff up around living room
5:45 Take Dakota out to pee wiping up blood drips as we go
5:52 Call into CD to start getting up
5:55 Log into Facebook (Farmville actually)
6:01 Go in to get CD up
6:02 Taking his temp
6:03 Fever 101.3
6:05 Start fighting with CD & CDD that he can not go to school
6:10 Lost fight.
6:14 Finally get CD to take some medicine and eat something
6:21 FINALLY pulled CD away from hockey game CDD & him are watching
6:35 Start Dishwasher
6:44 Leaving to drop CD off at school
6:57 Drop CD off
6:59 Return checked out items to library
7:10 Arrive back home - sat down to watch last of AI with CDD before he goes off to bed for the day
7:27 Take out Ground Beef for CD's Sloppy Joe's tonight's dinner
7:29 Pour Cranberry Juice and go back to reading Google Reader, Facebook, blogs, and emails.
8:14 Go start load of laundry
8:20 Back to Farmville
8:45 Decided hungry again, made Cinnamon Rolls
8:50 Change laundry around, realizing there is blood all over CD's white short (from the dog) CRAP! Treated washing again.
9:15 Eat Cinnamon Rolls while watching Hellcats
9:30 More laundry .. still trying to get blood out ..
10:00 Folding and finishing up Hellcats
10:15-11:30 Talk to mom on phone
11:45 Hang up more laundry, put away clothes
12:10 Laid back down
2:15 CDD & I got up.
2:30 Made lunch for CDD & watched TV together
3:15 Make CDD lunch/dinner to take to work.
3:30 Leave to take CDD to catch his ride to work
4:00 Back Home. Check Emails, Facebook, Farmville
4:20 Start frying hamburger meat for sloppy Joes for CD.
5:00 Dinner completed. Dishes put away in dishwasher. Started reloading
5:20 Leave to pick up CD from after school. Third day of baseball tryouts
5:45 Serve up dinner for CD
6:37 CD shower, Back to laundry have to wash & dry baseball clothes for yet another day of tryouts tomorrow.
7:15 Back to email, Farmville
8:19 Baseball clothes in dryer
8:23 Throw remaining dishes in washer
8:45 Change into PJ's going to watch TV until fall sleep ..

Okay so that is about a typical day. Actually a earlier nite than usual for (1)CD is in middle tryouts so no extra activities to do. (2)CD is not feeling well and tired from all the workouts this week.

This was actually a PITA to do. I almost quit mid-day. ha!





Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

One Year Later

I can not believe one year has past since this day was here. High School Baseball Tryouts. It is hard to believe how fast time goes by.


So Big question. Am I as nervous today as I was last March 1-5? Not for the same reasons. Knowing more about what position players they have. I feel some sense of security. Plus when he asked about what would happen if he wasn't ready by today the coach simply said,


"But you will by end of March, correct?"

giving impression, they were not worried about t/o, but the season. So *shrug* who knows.

What does give me anxiety? After all the yelling, and phone calls, name calling, fits, etc .. the school could hold a grudge and simple not let the coaches place him

on the team. What? like that is not unheard of. I knew going into that fight I was pushing CD's luck. But unlike the XC incident, the broken finger fight, was the battle and chance. Like I always say, "Pick your battles."

I feel I did.

So we will See.



Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

EOM Catcher's Report

End Of The Month
Catcher's Report
The Final A$$ Clown Report/Update

I am doing my last update wrap up of this whole finger/a$$ clown/school/ drama. I would like to say this month was a better month. I would like to say there were no other school or a$$ clown issues. I would like to say there were no other Dr appointments. As I would like to say all that .. It would be a lie ..

But what I can say is CD has now been released (2/7) from surgeon. He is done at the rehab center. (Thank goodness stay tuned for vent on that one) He seems to be doing well. Looks like motion is almost 100%. I am very HAPPY with the results of the surgery. Best thing to come out of it was the surgeon we got. Thank You So Much Dr. Golden!! You Rock!!

Let's just hope it has had enough recovery time it will not snap at the first sign of using it for baseball. x(--)x <-- fingers crossed.

I ended up at the Chiropractors because my neck, back, and head were killing me. I had (have) so many knots it was not even funny.

Sadly I did spend much of February fighting school. It was a nightmare. On the 15th a$$ clown came up behind (he loves coming from behind .. lil b!tch a$$ coward) pushing CD into lockers and almost to floor. Of course it was the right hand that plowed into the lockers. Lucky nothing more serious than a bump happened. A$$ clown's favorite thing to be annoying is to open the door to the Chem Class CD is in and shout in there. Anyone else read that & think the teacher should be doing something about that? Hmm? Yah! My thoughts to!

I talked to so many people this month. ABC Principal, Counsellors, Social Workers, SSD teacher, Asst Superintendent (well I tried, he never called me back but did call the head Principal and told him to fix this issue) The main trouble was they were seeing this as a P.E. accident, and not what it was. Grrr!!

But the last conversation I had with Principal finally something took. Only took 2 months, 3 days to get it clear. He spoke with CD once again, and the a$$ clowns mother was finally called, told to come pick her "child" up and was removed for whatever guide lines allowed for the offense of Bullying & Dangerous Behavior. (*cue choir*) hallelujah!! hallelujah!!

In the last few days I have found out more than I care to about this "a$$ clown"

* He failed every class (minus p.e. got an A) from first semester.
* Is currently failing all classes this semester.
* Does have multiply suspensions (in & out of school), & Saturday Detentions
* Many write ups in class room (one even had CD's name from Sept where A$$ Clown knocked CD's backpack across room)
* His mother works for the school board (yep! A little bell go off as a warning sign on this one? All made sense .. all puzzle pieces fit nicely there)

But the school was attesting he was a good boy, just a small pest, never in trouble. Ha! Yeah, so I can never throw in faces I know the true facts about the record of this kid. But least I know. I am at peace now. Because I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG He IS AN A$$ CLOWN!!


The sun seems to be peeking out right now, so we will see. Possible the darkest days are over. Now is the time to drop the subject. Heal CD. Move on. But NOT FORGET. Time for Spring ..

Time for ...



BASEBALL ... BAAAA BEEEE!!


Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Twitter & Real Life Cross Over ..

Tonight I had a chance to meet up with a Twitter & Facebook friend. Avgchick. It was really nice to finally get to put a person to the words. It was really a great time. We met up for dinner, and had the restaurant not been closing we could have sat for a much longer time catching up and enjoying each others company.

Hopefully her business will bring her back to town soon, or even better we can meet up this summer close to her house. Because I really would like to go on vacation as I talked about earlier.

All in all it was a good night. I stepped out of my comfort zone, and did something new. I do not regret it one bit. Had a blast.




Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Friday Flip Off ..

I saw this on a blog not to long ago. Thought what a grand idea. So here it is ..
(actually I started this list last Fri 1/25, but I didn't get posted so I continued on for this week ..)




(started 1/25)
It is no surprise my first on list is Mr. A$$ Clown himself. A BIG TWO HANDED FLIP OFF to you!! You have caused so much up roar in this house. I am sick to death of it. As of today you are still walking around just pleased as punch what you have caused. Karma! All I am saying ..

Then lets add the admins of said school. Don't hands are tied me. Untie the sumb!tches and get off your highly seated throne your lazy a$$es are sitting on.

The back screen door that just will not keep it's screws intact. Who doesn't like their screws? You would think you would hang onto your's. Just Saying! I really do not wish to have a glass window fall on thy wee head. Thanks! I will pass!

To the icicles that keep forming on the roof. Really? Don'tcha know .. Those icicles have been known to kill people. But you just keep coming back, and I will just keep knockin' you down.

Lastly this week .. to those who think you have the right to even comment about me as a parent/mother. You don't know me. Just because what you read in a blog or 140
characters on twitter does not portray the whole Muther Flip-Flopp'in picture. Just sayin!

----
(con't on 2/4)

To the mailman. STAY OUT OF MY YARD!! It is not roped off for you to still try to bring your fat purple people eater self and your 100lb. bag into it. My yard is sinking! That is why we roped it off.

To CDD's company. Twice you pulled the "stay home, closing the company" but you have to use a personal day, vacation day, or sick day. SCREW YOU!! If your going to close -- you pay the employees!! ALSO -- if you are going to close for front office & 1st shift, have the same respect for 2nd shift.

I have another Birdie for my Step-Dad. Just because you choose to wake up at butt crack dawn, and shower, sh!t, shave, watev, does not mean when above company closes for 1st shift and you have to go in, does not mean you have to go in early pulling CDD out of bed wit no shower, food, or shoveling me & teen out of house! Ugh!

Then there is the neighbor across the street. When to street department gets our street all nice and clean, why must you throw your snow in the street getting it all fudged up? Freezing back up and then of course making it harder for me to get in my driveway cuz the crap iced up right where you threw it? *sigh* Thanks! Old Creepy Guy!!

CD's Car! Really? Again? We just spent all this $$ in December fixing your butt. Seriously had no plans to want to have more work on you today. But unfortunately .. ya got to have wiper motor to use the wipers. But the last time I was leaving the shop having you fixed I got that horrible call about CD's broken finger. Let's not have a repeat of that shall we?





Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2011

... or so they were saying at first. When this was first brewing about they were comparing it to the ice storm of 2006. HERE

Well that was enough to send me into full panic mode. I know people can not even grasp that. I get that. But for Flip-Flop sakes do not make fun or make it seem like I have irrational fears. If you were not here, if you do not know what it is like to hear the crackling of tree branches, and then the deafening sound of it hitting the ground, to not know where it hit. To be sleeping and you awake again to those sounds, though this time it hits your house and you just know it has broken through that time. To walk outside and almost get shot from a gun happy neighbor to look at your house and in the moonlight swear the limb is in your son's room. Right where he his sleeping. Yeah! Ice storms will scare the living hell out of you.



But yes, we did have ice again. But they were on top of it. It didn't get as bad as they thought. Monday they early dismissed the kids from school. That was about when the rain/sleet/ice started coming. Tuesday there was No school. It was supposed to change over from the major ice storm to 6"-13" of snow by 6 a.m. We did get snow, but not what they thought. Even CDD's company closed, but they had to use a day (don't get me started on that rant) if they want to be paid. They closed school again for today. Today just a few flakes here and there. The wind is blowing lots.



Now to try and find the driveway. *sigh* Had CDD had more days to blow I would have had him stay here. Fluck! This! Sh!t! Really none of us need to be doing it. CDD with his weight & heart, CD with his broken finger, and me with my drain. Not a good mix in the house.



So that is what is going on around here. I am sure there will be school tomorrow. But if I do not have the car & driveway unburied CD will probably not go, and I will fight with school about not marking him absent. Because of course had they taken the steps to make sure CD was safe, and let A$$clown break his finger he could ride his bus, but oh what is this I read, no riding buses Dr's orders. So either a Principal can drag their a$$ here to pick him up, send a cab, or not mark absent. Their choice. :)


Also today is Ground Hog Day ..

So according to Punxsutawney Phil, Spring will come early this year. I hope so. I really do. I am not complaining. We have not had snow, and a good amount of it, for years. But I think I am at my done point. It is fun to have extra days off here and there, and it has helped a lot in CD's recovery. Seems like a Snow Day came just when we needed it on a couple occasions. But this is enough. Time to get these kids in school back to full-time. So we can have a summer break.



Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Mom Report to the Principal’s Office…

This morning I just knew it was going to be one of "those" days. By mid morning, I decided it was a cuss kind of day. So the words were flying. At one point there were some tears as I let the words spew from my lips. Then I CD received an email from the SSD teacher in his history class.

FIRST that is NOT his SSD teacher. SECOND it was an empty study guide for a test labeled Thursday. Umm.. Who is to fill this out? Why is this only being sent a day less then a day from the test? So I called the history teacher. Wait! She never checks her emails or VM. I called the SSD teacher that sent the email.

All the while dropping all possible words to CDD. Then when looking up the grades from his last final, Chem, I see the strangest thing I have ever seen in his grades ... Geometry 7% F. WTH!! Apparently none of his papers have been done. So I placed another call into that teacher as well. Since I was on a roll I called his Personal Fitness teacher and left VM to him as well. How DARE he tell CD to take off his splint because he wanted to see his finger? WHAT? Excuse me? Are you his Dr? Is he in Shower? Is he doing his therapy? I think those would all be No’s, and being that the answers are NO, the splint does NOT come off.

I was HOT and sure, as HELL was not taking this crap any longer. What the hell is this school not getting? NO WRITING!! ASSISTANCE IS REQUIRED. This is not by choice. I didn’t make the rules. I didn’t write up the guidelines to his return to school. That would be his DR. I really do not think any of us can over rule a very important rule. A rule, that if NOT followed could lead to the re-breaking of the finger and worse surgery AGAIN. It is not that hard. Fine send the study guide by email, but have the D!mn thing filled out.

I heard from the SSD teacher and the Geometry teacher. Explaining I DO NOT CARE what my “all I want to do is please all adults in my life, and will tell no one no” child says. NO HE CAN NOT WRITE. PERIOD!! Follow the Dr orders that I know all teachers were emailed. HE is not in charge I AM. The DR is. Trust me all this was said in my nice to your face voice. Got that settled peacefully. Geometry teacher is very sweet, a mom who gets it. I like that. :)

So I proceed my cussing day. CDD took me to lunch. I cussed some more. Waitress? Incompetent B!tch! I still fuss and feud to CDD about the lack of school being helpful. Them letting A$$ Clown walk scout free, etc, etc, all and everything plus the kitchen sink.

Dropped him off at his ride to work. Went with mom to take Yadi to Vets, while I was talking to the Vet & mom about A$$ Clown (don't ask how that came about, ha ha) my cell phone rings. It is the pre-fix to school numbers. Okay must be the last teacher, History. Yeaaa! Me in my fake nice to your face voice …
“Hello” ..
“Hi Mrs. XX this is ”THE B!TCH WHO LET YOUR SON GET BROKEN …”

She was calling because she had a VM from me. Yeah! Dumb A$$ B!tch! BEFORE CHRISTMAS!! I SNAPPED. I can hardly remember the words spewing from my lips. My moms jaw dropped. The Vet stopped in her tracks. But did that stop me? Nope! By the time I got done, I think she was in tears, which BTW I had a flicker of shame and guilt. She is a very young and brand new teacher. But that feeling didn’t last long. Grrr!! Hung up with her. Resumed rest of day. Now cussing to mom about all above.

Now we are at school picking up CD after basketball practice he gets in car. He is now cussing about sh!tty day. Tell me about a run in with A$$ Clown that led to him cussing LOUDLY in hallway at A$$ Clown. Apparently causing teachers to drop their jaws (no one would believe he would have that type of mouth. Hmm? Wonder where he gets that? Ha ha) Apparently coming very close to getting into fight w/ A$$ Clown, but A$$ Clown walked away. So after all that and realizing that this was a true cussing it all out sort of day. CD drops another bomb ..

Head Principal XYZ wants you to come to his office first thing in the a.m. What did you do to Ms. ”THE B!TCH WHO LET YOUR SON GET BROKEN” ?


… So there you have it. I have been called to the Principals office.

WHAT A DAY!!



Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

The Catcher's Report

The Catcher's Report
January Catch-up

So life has been so busy, I have been to lazy to haven't even had the time to write. So a quick jog thru and then I am off to play farmville catch on things I am behind here at the house ...

1/10 - I returned to my surgeon & though he says I have a clean bill of health and was ready to remove the drain. I declined. Not having the time, nor patience, nor funds at this time, decided F-- it! I am leaving it in. Doesn't hurt anything. He even said more time could not hurt. So I intend to leave in. My goal is next March. (2012) So that is that. When I am ready for drain to remove, I am to call.

1/11 -
I wrote about that day already. Here.

1/13 - 18th Wedding Anniversary. Dakota's 11th Birthday. I already covered that day. Here.

1/17 - No School. MLK Day.

1/18 - I finally picked out my new phone. I went with the Sony Xperia. It is like CD's but after all the back and forth. I just picked. CD had school then his usual Tuesday night gig. Catching from 5-9. The Tuesdays he has Personal Fitness @ school, makes for a rough night of catching. Since he can not work on his arms. (Thanks a$$clown!) He does all lower body workouts. (Now that baseball workouts have started, Tuesdays are weight room after school. So he will go straight from P.F. to the workouts again. *ouch*) Also ..CD has been complaining A LOT about pain coming from cast. So after much complaining I call his surgeon, they got him in 19th.

1/19 - New phone? Yeah! Took it back. I didn't like how it sounded. All the playing with CD's .. I never talked on the D*mn thing. So I exchanged it for the Flight II. Plus saving on the Smart Phone cost. I just couldn't stomach the cost. Not with all CD's and my medical bills pouring in. Oh! Well!

I also pulled CD out of school early as he is just uncomfortable. I took him to surgeon after a quick conversation cast came off, x-ray taken, pins came out. The pins had worn out the padding, and they were jabbing into ring finger. One cap had even came off in the process as well. The Dr. did tell him he can now do NOTHING. No more some weights. No more catching. No contact. No ball sports. Nadda. Until next appt. The finger is still very FRAGILE, and it could easily break again. :(
(oh yeah that made for a worse attitude .. THANKS AGAIN A$$CLOWN!!)

So after all that was said and done, they shipped us off downstairs to start therapy and get a splint made. At first he was annoyed he was going back into a constraint, he was overjoyed to learn he could remove to shower. That is a major PLUS. He was tired of showering in swim trucks while one of us helped him shower. That sucked for all parties. But now he can remove this to shower and do his therapy.

Now comes the real $$ eater. As CDD's insurance will not cover any therapy. Thanks BCBS .. THANK YOU A$$CLOWN!! The Dr's office is trying to get that over turned as it is a NEED not a, "oh I have a little twisted back, ankle, etc .."

So we will see .. have fun Wash U.

1/20 - I will say if we have had any luck with this whole nightmare the snow days and Christmas Break timing has worked in our favor.
When A$$clown broke it, the next day snow day. So he didn't have to go back in pain, less than 24 hours since happen. When had to have surgery on Christmas Break, and though it was ruined, he didn't have to worry about getting back right away or missing school. Now this day, just had cast off, getting used to splint, plus 1 less day he has to be put in a dangerous situations where a "what if" or "could be" or A$$clowns attack II.

This is the most snow we have had in a very long time. We got over 12" over night and into the day. CD doesn't recall having this much snow before. Of course he couldn't enjoy it how he would have liked (Thanks ;) again a$$clown) sledding & shoveling for $$. *shrug* whatyagunnado?

Oh the New Flight phone? Yeah, I hated it. So returned that, and now I am back to the broken Impression. I think I will just do the insurance claim and say f-- it! I have never had such a hard time with phones. Probably more going on then phones. Just sayin ..

1/21 - I can not say I was disappointed that CD would now have 4 days to heal more without cast protecting that finger. He is just safer. Plus .. he is still getting to study for the finals he was to take back on Dec 20 & 21. Talk about luck. Ha! He was more excited than CDD & I. :) CD pointed out that he has not had a full week of school since the week of Dec 6-10. That is insane. Maybe next week. They are calling for another storm coming through Sunday night and predicting schools might have to cancel again. Now at this rate they will be going to school in June. Blah!

-----

That is about it. All wrapped up in a quick run down. Just still trying to muddle through and come out on the other side with as little battle scars as possible.














Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

An Anniversary & A Birthday..

~*~*~

Whole Cow .. we made it to another year. 18 years. Ha! They said it wouldn't last a year. It is quite simple how we have lasted 20 years together, 18 of which married. He have never spent more than a couple months tops on days. ha! ha! Kind of hard not to stay together when you don't see each other on a daily bases. I kid. I kid.

Seriously I do not know where the time went. Time just flies by. Seems like just yesterday we were just getting married and moving 900+ miles away to the Frozen Tundra, though that was 18 years ago this April. Seems like just last week the stick had two lines, though he turns 16 this May. Something must be going right for all that to just seem like yesterday.

Guess I could have chosen worse. *wink*

So in saying that ..

Today is the perfect time to tell you what you mean to me.

How I depend on you to love me for who I am
and
believe in me for what I hope to be.
How I feel loved each time you smile or touch my hand and,
when I need someone to listen, I know you'll understand.
It means the world to me when you tell me I am the best mother
our child could ask for,
that you wish your own mother would have been as great as I am with our son.
You will never know how that makes me feel.

The last 6 months had been rocky, but you stood by my indiscretions.
Put up with my yelling and tantrums.
Picked me up when I crumbled.

So CDD, I celebrate my love for you,
grateful that we have the happiness life gives to just a few.
I Love You!
Always & Forever!


But yet again we will spend our Anniversary apart. Work. Got to love their schedule, hours, shifts, and no vacation in January rule. :) I cannot remember the last Anniversary we spent together. Probably 2007-08. But January 2013 we will finally be able to spend the day together. :)

So Cheers! Here's to another ....



~*~ Also today we celebrate a Birthday Day ~*~




Happy Birthday Dakota! 11 years ago today you came into this world. In May you will have been bring happiest and joy to us for the same amount of time. Thanks for becoming a member of this family. Thanks for choosing us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOY!!
Happy Birthday Day!!



Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Wordless Wednesday

~*~






Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Snow In 49 States Right Now (MAP)

This story is hard to believe. Who would have thought this would happen? Some states I didn't even know it would/could snow there. :)

------------------

A map of snowfall in the United States is revealing right now: 49 states have snow on the ground and only one does not.

From the southern snow storm heading north, which is affecting air travel, to the storm in New York City, and flurries out west, there's plenty of white stuff going around.

The lone state without a flake? It's the Sunshine State...Florida. Locals are celebrating the fact, though interestingly, parts of the state saw snow just days ago.

Even Hawaii has snow, in Mauna Kea on the Big Island.

Have a look at the map for yourself:




CNN meteorologist Angela Fritz calls this "extremely unusual," though notes that statistics aren't generally kept on how many states have snow at the same time.


source here

1-11-11

Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

1-11-11 Snow Day Fun ..

A so needed day around here ..

It was so nice to have a day off when we were not expected someplace. Where we were not medicated. Where we had such pain sleeping was the only option. That we knew our surroundings and actually felt like we were part of the day. Not outsiders looking in. It was a good day.

There was breakfast served. Staying in pj's until noon. Watching TV and laughing at all the silly, silly people who were doing silly, silly, things in the horrible weather. Secrets told. Wishes made.

Cleaning sidewalks, driveway, and car. But doing so in an easy way seeing how I pre-treated and used all the helpful hints that were given a few weeks back on a show I was watching. That went off without a hitch. Helping neighbor duct tape nieces back window of her car so that it was protected by the weather a tad bit more.

There was hot tea served. Hamburgers made fresh, no drive-thru for us teen today. Pot pies burnt. Games of cards. Hide and seek. Getting stuck in a tight squeeze while hiding, and having to call for help. Snuggling up in electric blankets and watching movies from the library & catching up on DVR. Telling a very good friend good bye until Spring as he is off for cruises and spring training.

.....

Yes, it was a great day. I hope we have another day off soon. As it was the first time in almost a month (tomorrow) that the teen laughed. Laughed til he cried laughed.

Yes it is true 1-11-11 was the best day!!



Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Saw this on Facebook this morning .. Had to share.

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!
By: Brenna Gray Foster

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

---------------

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did, and got a chuckle or two out of it. :-)






Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

The Catcher's Report Jan 3-9

The Catcher's Report

Been a while since I did a summary of the week. The week was not a horrible week. Funny how it was a short week, but it seemed so long. CD went back to the surgeon on Monday. They removed the temp cast and they removed his stitches. He had two options of what to do next. I opted for the cast. He will wear this one 3 weeks. That way less chances something happening to the finger at school. Plus, that way when CD pounded the snot out of the "a$$clown" his finger is well protected. Little ray of sunshine was Surgeon told CD he could resume catching for the pitchers getting lessons. He was really happy about that.

School returned this week from winter break, I wish it had been a bit longer so CD could have at least had a few days to do something other than lay in bed drugged up. I am glad that it was only a 3 day school week. Ease CD back into being active. But there is only roughly 60 days until Spring Break. We are talking about taking him out of town. Leaning towards Wisconsin Dells. But that still in air. (Really depends on how bad we are drowning in CD and my medical bills.)

We all piled into the school on first day back (Wed). CD made sure he expressed his grave disappointment on how they handled this whole situations. Said they would look into things and get back to us. They of course are back peddling as fast as they can. CDD and I were up at school several times in that one day. Plus speaking with a couple police in that city. They have been great actually. If they can on the slightest limb get this "a$$clown" on anything, they are. So the school may be dragging feet, but they are not. Actually the police already was able to confirm the school lied to them about this "a$$clown" so we will see.

Not going to be an easy fast fix that is for sure. Guess we will just have to see.

Of course since CD was given the green light, he was back at the baseball house catching by Tuesday. They were really glad to have him back. Made CD feel good to be wanted and needed. He also went back to Managing the Girls Varsity Basketball team. So looks like he is on the mend ~ mentally at least for now ~

Us? Same ol' Same. I go back next week to my dr/surgeon. See what his next plan is. I know what it is not. More surgery, unless he does pro bono. Tapped out on funds. As far as I am concerned the drain can just stay in. F- it!


~*~ Until Next Time ~*~




Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.

Here's to the New ...

2011 Rings in ..
We didn't end the year any special way. Just us. The 3 of us. At home. Quiet. When it is all said and done it always just comes back to the 3 ..

Catcherdude and I did go visited my mom & step dad for a short time. The husband just really wanted to stay in and watch hockey game. I wanted back home before the crazy drivers hit the roads. Plus Catcherdude wasn't feeling the being out of the house and around people thing.

I gave up long ago with the "New Year's Resolutions" thing. I though this year I would go with a look back, forward, and make a TO DO LIST, you know things I would hope to accomplish 364 days from now.

Starting with look back

I am so grateful for last year...

- for so much time with our son.
- for making the final payment on our car.
- for so much quality time with amazing family.
- for being able to paid off hospital bills for 2008-09.
- for my mom being here.
- for the health insurance coverage we have to help off set some of all the bumps & bruises we had along the way.
- for Catcherdude making his dream of playing HS baseball happening.
- for the new digital camera my family made sacrifices to let me have.
- for son making it through his first year of High School with little damage.
- for the opportunity to be able to go on what little vacations (though baseball related)we did.
- for new friends.
- for good health.


Moving on to looking forward

Things that though might be silly I am really excited about in 2011...

- Celebrating seventeenth anniversary.
- Catcherdude turns 16.
- Hopefully watching Catcherdude return to the baseball fields.
- Reconnecting with friends.
- Paying off medical bills AGAIN.


Now the TO DO LIST

- Reduce the amounts of soda every day.
- cook more.
- learn something new. (I haven't decided this one yet. I will update when I think of something.)
- take more photos.(possibly a class or two.)
- complain less.
- spend more time with the husband.
- stop letting the small stuff over come me.



What about you?
What things are you looking forward to?
What's on your 2011 TO DO LIST??



Baseball Mom
©2006-2011 baseballmomrambles, all rights reserved.