Its Like, All Of A Sudden, I’m His MOTHER

Last night I told Catcherdude to brush his teeth and get to bed. I waited impatiently for him to finish so that I could use the bathroom and get to bed myself. After what seemed like forever he came out and went to his room and climbed in to bed.

I did my thing in the bathroom and went to my room to climb into bed as well. Something stopped me and I walked to his room and tucked him in. I rarely ever tuck him in anymore. I usually tell him good night and that I love him as I’m shutting his door. Last night, I walked in, tucked his blankets under him and said “Snug as a bug in a rug,” just like I used to do every night when he was younger. He just smiled up at me and I bent over to kiss his forehead and tell him I loved him. As I was walking out of the room it hit me.

I AM HIS MOM.

I am supposed to be tucking him into bed every night. I am supposed to make sure he gets plenty of hugs and kisses every day. I am supposed to read him plenty of stories and play with all his little army men with him. I am supposed to show him that he is the most important thing in the world to me.

I spend all day with him and we read lots of books together, but most of those are for school. I try to kiss him, but he wipes them off or runs from me and so I don’t try as often as I should. I hardly ever play with his toys with him, because seriously? Wrestling guys? Bleh.

He knows that I love him. He knows he is my favorite boy ever.

But, what is he going to remember about me when he grows up? Will he remember the way I sat at the dining room table with him and taught him math? Will he remember how we would climb into my bed and read together or watch movies? Will he remember the times that I snapped at him to turn the TV down? Will he remember me nagging him to put his clothes in his hamper instead of on his floor? Will he remember all the times I’ve taken him to the movies and out to eat, just the two of us? Will he remember how I sat through GAME AFTER GAME of Hockey and Baseball?

I’m his mom. Its my job to make his childhood GOOD.

God. That is a lot of responsibility. And, yes, I know I am late to the game here. He’s now 13 years old and its just hitting me? I mean, I’ve always known I was his mom and that I had to feed him and bathe him and clothe him and keep him happy. But, I never thought all that much about what he was going to REMEMBER of his day to day life.

What are your kids going to remember about you?